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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has always been the safe haven in everyday journalism, and we are always mindful of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, particularly within football. What a delight it was to find out that Big Website columnist a well-known presenter possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs at his home. Consider the situation regarding the Barnsley supporter who took the rest room somewhat too seriously, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat against Fleetwood Town. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And who can forget at the pinnacle of his career playing for City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to access the restrooms during 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting where the toilets were, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a student told local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds as if he owned it.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as the England coach after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle alongside FA executive David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, his private Football Association notes, he entered the drenched beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams motivated, both of them pleading for the official to reason with Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies found him slumped – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, saying quietly: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies tried desperately to salvage the situation.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Just a single choice remained. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I closed the door after us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Results

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his period as Three Lions boss “empty”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's a tremendously tough role.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are no longer present, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We were the continent's finest referees, elite athletes, role models, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We hardly glanced at one another, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina examined us thoroughly with an ice-cold gaze. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and provided some branded items, I've opted to write and share a brief observation. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|